We send our kids to school each day in the hope they are getting the best possible education.
We tell them to pay attention and study and try to make sure they understand the importance of school and how it will be helpful to them in the future.
But let’s be honest, most of the time they look at us with a bit of an eye roll and move on.
This is normal though, I’m pretty sure most of us did that when our parents told us the same information.
While I think most of us can agree that school is extremely important, what can be equally, if not more important are the things we teach them at home.
These are the topics that do not come from a unit study or a paper test.
Among these skills are things that will grow with them as they mature.
The lessons will be similar, yet more complicated and nuanced as the years pass.
We as the caretakers of our children can be a great resource and a consistent constant in their lives to help solidify these concepts because we see our kids every day and thus know where to meet them on their knowledge level.
The great thing about these topics is that you can start teaching them any time.
Most of the time, a little piece at a time will work.
It is always amazing how you find ways to teach these topics in your day-to-day life.
The best way to help bring these lessons to life is to help your kids see them used in real life.
Remember being in school and asking when you were ever going to use a certain concept in real life?
Well, here we are!
Things We Need To Teach Our Kids That They Won’t Learn In School
1. How To Choose Friends
I remember being a child and making friends with whoever happened to be in my classroom. While most of the time that served me well, there were definitely times I made some friends that were not my best choice.
The great thing was that while I inevitably learned that those friends were not my good friends (as I was getting in trouble, A LOT!) I also learned great things about what I wanted in a friend. My parents talked to me about the fact that good friends do not put you in bad or dangerous situations.
These lessons kept getting more complex as I got older, and I was very grateful to have a bit of guidance to at least be able to talk through these experiences.
2. How To Stay Organized
This one was/is still a challenge for me every day!
While we are supposed to be teaching our children, we are constantly learning from them. Organization is truly in the eye of the beholder.
By this I mean that one person’s idea of “organized” can be vastly different from another person’s idea of the same concept.
With that said, keep that in mind when broaching this subject with your kids.
If they know where their items are and they are not constantly searching for everything under a pile of more stuff, then you’ve done your job!
3. Time Management
We all know that this one is a challenge.
When kids are little, it seems that setting timers will work best for them to get an idea of how much time has gone by.
Then they have to learn about telling time and giving themselves an idea of how much time they need for each task.
Start them off by making a chart together on how long things take.
Set a timer and see if the estimates are correct and go from there.
4. Respect
When it comes to this topic, I like to defer to the age-old adage of treating others as you would like to be treated.
This then goes hand-in-hand with making sure your kids know that they deserve to be treated well.
It connects with helping them with their self-esteem, which we will cover later.
I remember being a child and hearing a lot about respecting your elders.
I have expanded this idea for myself that everyone you encounter should be treated with respect, no matter who they are or how old they are.
How you treat others says volumes about you and who you are.
5. Personal Hygiene
This is a big one that can definitely grow with your child.
If you feel uncomfortable talking to them about this topic, there are many great resources online and at your local library that can help you explain this subject to your kids.
6.To Have A Relationship With a Higher Being
Your child’s spiritual life is built on what you and your family believe.
You are in charge of this until they become adults and make their own choices.
Having a belief in a higher being can be very comforting and grounding.
7. That Perfection Isn’t The Most Important Thing
Oh man this one is a doozy for those of us who are perfectionists!
I think of it in terms of making sure my child has different challenges than I do!
Letting your kids see you make mistakes or accomplish something that is not perfect without freaking out is the best way to help them be ok with not being perfect.
I really appreciate the saying of having an imperfect something instead of a perfect nothing!
Your children need to know that they are loved for who they are, NOT for being perfect.
8. To Advocate For Yourself
This topic can be so far reaching!
It is useful anywhere from personal relationships to speaking up at the doctor’s office.
Letting your kids know that they and their needs are important will help them find this confidence to stand up for themselves.
In addition to that, you can practice with them how to advocate for themselves in a kind, yet firm way.
9. That We As Parents Value Education
Talk to your children about what it was like for you being a kid.
Let them know that there were days you did not want to go to school or that you thought you would never use the things you learned in school.
Let them know that this is something we all go through and it is what makes us human.
Once that is out of the way, you can talk to them about how much education can help you as you grow into an adult and how learning new things helps you navigate the world around you in a way that you could not if you were not constantly learning.
Lastly, let them see that we as adults never stop learning.
Make it clear that education and learning is a lifelong activity that enhances your world every day!
10. That Stop Means Stop
This is another topic that ranges from taking someone’s toy to invading someone’s personal space.
It goes hand-in-hand with respect for those around you and respect for yourself.
It is an ongoing topic that has examples that will change to more serious topics as your children get older.
Nevertheless, it is monumentally important that your child understand this to its core.
11. To Be Unique
Simply to the point: let your child be themselves, no matter who they are.
Let them know they are amazing just as they are and to never let anyone try to dim their light!
12. How To Be Financially Responsible
It is funny that we learned how to write checks in middle school, but not how to balance our checkbooks!
It is less funny how many credit card applications I was sent once I started college.
Learning financial responsibility can start as soon as anyone gives your little one their first penny.
Teaching them how to save and keep track of what they have and eventually setting up their own bank accounts will put them on the right track.
As they get older, you can cover topics such as credit cards, managing larger purchases, and mortgages.
If you are not certain about these topics you can look them up and learn along with your kids!
13. That Reading Is FUN
Let your kids see you enjoy reading and let them read books that have nothing to do with school required reading.
Take them to the library or book store so they can browse.
14. That Mistakes And Failure Are Normal
Let your kids fail and see that they can survive.
Let them see you fail successfully.
Share stories about famous people in history who would not have made the discoveries they did if they had not failed!
15. To Be Polite
This starts with your standard please and thank you when they are able to talk.
It can also be shown in how you treat others; holding doors for others and generally being kind to those around you.
Then you set that expectation for your children as well.
It sounds funny, but I even say please when asking an AI to set a timer for me.
To me, it sets an example and is good practice!
16. How to cook, clean and do their laundry
I remember not wanting to learn these things when I was a child, but then being so grateful I did once I was living on my own!
The amount of young adults who have never done their own laundry by the time they graduate is astonishing!
Let your kids help you with the mundane tasks of the day.
Not only will you get some much-needed help, they are constantly learning and will remember these things when they live on their own.
17. Self Reliance/Self Care/Mental And Emotional Hygiene/Respect For Oneself/Self Awareness/Self-Esteem
I could not settle on one word for the list above.
While they are all under the same umbrella, they are also stand alone topics at the same time. These have always been important topics, but their sheer intangibility makes them a challenge to teach or start a conversation around them.
However, we must try.
If we can make ourselves comfortable with talking about physical hygiene, we can use that as a point of reference for mental and emotional hygiene.
It is equally, if not even more important.
You can start lightly by helping your kids with positive affirmations or letting them know that their opinion about themselves is so important.
They are always with themselves, so just as much as they would or should not put up with a bully on the outside, they should never tolerate a bully on the inside.
How they talk to themselves matters greatly!
Letting your kids know that it is ok to talk about these things will help them continue to communicate and take care of themselves.
18. Community Service
Helping others is good for the soul.
Take your kids along with you when you are helping with a food drive or visiting an elder care home or have them help out at an animal shelter.
Not only are they giving selflessly of their time, they may learn new skills and hear stories they may have never experienced otherwise!
19. Relationship Boundaries/Body Boundaries
While this is another very complicated topic, it goes ignored a lot of the time and that is not helpful.
Talking to your children about what is acceptable as far as how they are treated in their relationships is important.
Similarly important is that they understand their body boundaries and how to communicate those boundaries very clearly.
20. Focus On What Is Real, Rather Than Social Media
Social media is so strong these days and kids are so easily influenced by what they see. Helping them understand the difference between entertainment and real life is important.
We see so many people depressed because they are comparing their lives to what they see online.
It needs to be said that what is online is carefully curated and not always “in the moment”.
No one’s life is or should be that perfect all the time and that is completely ok.
In fact, it should be the absolute norm!
Let your kids know that their life and how they choose to lead it for themselves is what is important, not how it compares to what they see online!
Helping your kids learn these skills does not mean you have to model behavior perfectly.
In fact, it would actually be very helpful to let your kids see you make mistakes and see how you recover from your mistakes.
In addition to that, I would advise that you are here to guide your kids, but not have them think that they need to do things EXACTLY the way you did them.
They are supposed to be their own person, not carbon copies of us!
We can lead them in the right direction and let them do things in their own way and time and still be doing the right thing for them.
Now I am not saying that that is a simple task by any stretch of the imagination, but it is worth it to take that time to get into that mindset.
Lastly, I would like to remind you that there is no timetable for teaching these things to your children.
This list is just a jumping off point for you to think about what you want to teach your kids before they leave the house.
Kids will learn things when they are ready to learn them.
Trying to push information that they are not ready for will not work well.
They will let you know in their own ways when they are ready.
It is a slow and steady process and you are going through it in the best way you can!
And, as always, you’ve got this!