Raising confident kids who aren’t afraid to follow their own hearts is important. It’s even more important when the child you are raising is a female. These questions to ask your daughter that will boost her confidence can help.
I have two amazing daughters. When I think about what I want for them, I want a lot of things. Of course I want them to be kind and compassionate. I want them to work hard and to reach for the stars.
I want them to be CONFIDENT.
As well as being a mom, I am also a middle school teacher. I see over and over and over again, year after year, female students who have low-self esteem. To many of them, their worth is measured by their beauty. When confronted with peer pressure, they give in to it because they think that it will make them cool.
The thing that so many girls are lacking is confidence. Confidence is the key to so many different things. And while my children are a little bit younger than middle school age, the time is flying by.
My kids lack confidence in other ways. Like when meeting new people or making friends in school.
Using these questions is one of the 9 strategies that I use to build my daughter’s confidence.
These questions can be used as a way to open up some meaningful conversations between you and your daughter.
I love to use them as a daily conversation starter, either at dinnertime or at bedtime. In my house, we do one “question” per day. In this way, we can really talk about some deep stuff if necessary, depending on the answers my two children give me.
Also, if you love these questions and the lines of communication that they open up between you and your child, make sure to check out my Mother Daughter Journal. It includes these questions plus MANY more, and gives you a place to write down your child’s answers. Believe me, it is so fun to look back at what your children said at various ages and stages. My kids love looking back at their responses, too.
Questions To Ask Your Daughter To Build Her Self-Confidence
Are you beautiful?
The beauty of these questions is again, that you can use them to discuss deeper topics with your daughter. If her response is less than ideal, use this time to express how you believe your daughter is beautiful. Tell her what makes her beautiful, and ask her what makes her think that she’s not.
You can also talk about the fact that beauty is much more than physical beauty.
1. What is the best thing about being _____ years old?
Let your daughter realize that being right where she is is a pretty amazing place to be.
2. How are you different from your classmates?
Help your daughter celebrate what makes her different. Remind her that being different is brave and makes her extraordinary and unique.
3. What are you proud of?
Every single child should be able to name something that she is proud of. If your daughter can’t think of anything, take some time to explore some hobbies that she could adopt.
4. What do you dream about?
Encourage your daughter to dream big, and let her know how you did in this arena too. Did you follow your dreams and achieve them? Did you let your dreams die? If so, let her know that you regret that, and that you with you would have followed your dreams and worked hard to make them a reality.
5. How would you describe yourself?
Again, if your daughter is having trouble with this, you can start by telling her how YOU would describe her. Make sure to use positive vocabulary. You can also model this by describing yourself (I know, it’s hard!) in the most positive way you can.
6. Do you care about what other people think about you?
I always tell my students and my kids: Do you like that person who says mean things about you? (The answer is almost always no.) I follow that by saying, so if you really don’t like that person, why does it matter if they like you are not.
I also remind them that not everyone in the world likes me, and that that’s okay.
7. It makes me happy when people say that I…
If your daughter’s answers here are about her appearance, try to redirect her, or remind her of the person who called her kind, helpful, hard-working, determined, etc.
8. I am lucky because…
9. What is something that you could teach to others?
10. What is your superpower?
This is not meant to be the superpower that your daughter WANTS to have, but the superpower that she already has! Encourage her to think of the quality that makes her amazing.
11. I know that I am loved because…
12. What is your greatest talent?
13. What is the bravest thing you’ve ever done?
This can be a tough question for kids to answer. It’s always a good idea to add your input, too. This will also help your child to see that you are watching and proud of her.
14. Who makes you feel the best about yourself?
Make sure that you ask your child WHY that person makes them feel so good. What is it that that person says or does to make your daughter feel good?
15. Name 5 things you’re good at.
16. What is the greatest thing about being you?
17. Name 3 words that describe you.
18. What makes you different?
19. What do you love about yourself?
20. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would that be?
This one can be tricky. Make sure that you remind your daughter that no one is perfect. Also, let her know that that thing that she would change is something that another person might love (or something that YOU love!)
21. I’m special because…
22. Make up a song about yourself.
23. Look in the mirror. What do you see?
Encourage your child to look beyond her physical features. For example, I see someone who is standing tall and looking confident. I see someone who is happy, always smiling, etc.
24. I’m brave because…
25. I’m amazing because…
26. I’m silly because…
27. Do you like getting your picture taken?
28. What did you learn to do recently?
Ask your daughter how it felt to learn that new skill. (I bet it felt pretty amazing.)
29. What is easiest about school?
This question can remind your child of what she’s good at.
30. Do you like trying/learning new things?
If your daughter responds with a no, ask her why she doesn’t like trying new things. My daughter actually told me “no” to this question, and I almost died. Then I quickly reminded her that she LOVES learning new gymnastic skills, that she works on new skills tirelessly and feels great once she learns them. Sometimes our kids don’t realize the things that they do everyday.
31. What is hardest about school?
Try to brainstorm ways that you can help your daughter with that subject or skill.
32. What is confusing?
33.Mommy is so good at…
Then, remind your daughter that you didn’t magically become good at that skill. You had to work hard to learn how to do it!
34. I am so proud that I can __________ by myself.
35. What do you do if something is really difficult?
36. Daddy is so good at…
37. Have you ever been afraid to do something, but did it anyway?
38. I practice _________________ a lot.
39. I with I could _____________________, but I can’t.
Help your daughter to set a goal so that she can one day say, I CAN do that.
40. What did you work hard at today?
41. What is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do?
42. I really want to learn more about…
43. What would you like to learn to do?
Take a mental note with this one, mom! If your daughter wants to learn more about something, make it happen!
44. What is something that you practice a lot?
45. I wish I could…
I know that some of these questions sound similar, but if you are asking these questions on different days (as suggested above), you will get different answers (and more insight into your daughter).
46. I recently learned about…
47. I am bad at…
Remind your daughter that everyone is bad at something. EVERYONE. If your daughter wants to be good at that, then help her work on it. If not, then just let her know that it’s okay not to excel in everything.
48. I am surprised that I can…
I truly hope these questions are helpful, and that they will help you and your daughter grow closer. You can also check out my other related posts: